The Freedom of Forgiveness

​“What did you feel like after forgiving someone whom you once thought you could never forgive?”
 
Relief... and freedom. Forgiving someone doesn't mean that you have to accept their behavior or continue to associate with them, it means that you are no longer willing to carry the burden or pain. You are putting it behind you and making room for the next phase of your life. You can't move forward if you keep looking back.

He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach
heaven; for everyone has need to be forgiven.
— George Herbert

Peace. Freedom. Some things are unforgivable. I forgave anyway, bc I needed to own the space inside my own head. Now they hold no power there. Now there is no anger bond, tying us together. Things happened.

It will never be ok. But I am free now. I am not what happened to me. Every time it comes up, I see it, I release it, and I am empowered more and more each time I do this. Every time I forgive, I feel that I am stronger in the choosing to let go — stronger in choosing to be defined by my choice, not my past experience. I've done it so many times, it's created a new identity. I am now an incredibly strong person. I have more proof every time I do it.

​If that doesn't convince you, then consider this: every time you say "I release you. My past has no power over me. You are gone from me. I wish you healing. (I know. Breathe!)," the memories hurt less. They hurt less and less and one day it's just part of your story and doesn't affect you emotionally. It took me 30 years, but consider this — forgiveness can make them nobody to you and that's the best revenge. After that, even revenge won't matter. Prove me wrong. I dare you.

One moment of true forgiveness can erase years of guilt, pain, or fear.
— Alan Cohen

I finally had peace. I felt it. There was also a release of sorrow, pain, disappointment and hurt that had been with me almost all my life. Forgiveness work is hard work. I did not enter into it lightly. It was a long hard walk with myself through a forest of darkness. It made all the difference in the world and I am finally free.

Forgiveness is an act of self-love.
— Wayne Dyer

Fee yet conflicted. my ego felt slighted that my happiness was "dependent on them.” However, i had to correct my ego, it can be so spoiled and self centered, and remind it that it was I who made the decision to free myself. the object is not an integral part of the equation. my own personal growth is the objective.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
— Mahatma Gandhi

Before I could forgive, I had to get to the place of compassion — walking in their shoes. What had these people experienced that controlled their life, and directed their actions. When I reached the place of compassion, I realized I had already forgiven. You remember and learn that lesson, but you keep your heart receptive to their good as well.

To heal the wounded memory is as natural to the human spirit as it is for the cells of the human body
to heal themselves.
— Lewis B. Smedes

Yes, i felt free, as well. Free from the shackles of the memories of what happened. Also free from the weight of all the negative energy and feelings i carried around with me every waking moment. I agree that some actions ARE unforgivable but it is always possible to forgive the soul(s) of the perpetrator(s).

Forgiveness defies your mind. You have to break through your mind to forgive. Without forgiveness,
a genuine healing cannot happen.
— Caroline Myss

It's a long road to forgive things that still happening into our lives, but I believe this is a process that liberate and open your soul for a next level of this existence!!!!

Someone may have stolen your dream when it was young and fresh and you were innocent. If someone
has damaged the innocence of your dreams, Anger is natural. Grief is appropriate. Healing is mandatory.
Restoration is possible.
— Jane Rubietta

Like I had just crossed a MAJOR chasm in my spiritual journey! Best feeling every...a major accomplishment/feat! (y) (y) :D <3

Forgiveness is a rebirth of hope, a reorganization of thought, and a reconstruction of dreams. Once
forgiving begins, dreams can be rebuilt. When forgiving is complete, meaning has been extracted
from the worst of experiences and used to create a new set of moral rules and a new interpretation of
life's events.

— Beverly Flanigan

I think to forgive another you first forgive yourself...for me, it's a realisation that we are human, that everything is something we can learn from, that we only 'know' something when we have lived it, and once we have lived it we can recognise it in another… which breaks down barriers and that is where you discover unconditional love. Forgiveness is very freeing, and we all deserve that.

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean. If a few drops are dirty, the ocean does not
become dirty.
— Mahatma Gandhi

I felt like I lost 1,000 pounds. 

When we forgive, we set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner we set free is us.
— Lewis B. Smedes

Amazing!!! Unfortunately God took him anyway!!! Give it to God!!! 

As long as you don’t forgive, who and whatever it is will occupy rent-free space in your mind.
— Isabelle Holland

Liberated <3 And sad for the person I forgave. Saw them as the scared, anxious & unhealthy person they really were.

Forgiveness is holiness; by forgiveness the universe is held together.
— Mahabharata

Free. I stopped dwelling on the hurt and started living in the now.

When we forgive we ride the crest of love’s cosmic wave; we walk in stride with God.
— Lewis B. Smedes

I felt a weight lifted letting go and forgiving through spiritual eyes which did me good and I moved on.

”I can forgive, but I cannot forget,” is only another way of saying, “I will not forgive.” A forgiveness ought
to be like a cancelled note, torn in two and burned up, so that it never can be shown against the man.

— Henry Ward Beecher

Freedom or like a heavy weight has been lifted.... Lighter.

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
— Indira Gandhi

A million bucks.

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
— Malachy McCourt

Inner peace and freedom from a heavy burden I carried.

You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.
— Buddha

A load lift off my shoulders

Forgiveness means to me that whatever was done to me is no longer causing me such pain that I cannot be the
person I want to be.
—Eva Kor, Holocaust survivor

Relief, peace, love, growth, openness

When you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
— Unknown

Relief...free...lighter

We attach our feelings to the moment when we were hurt, endowing it with immortality. And we let it assault
us every time it comes to mind. It travels with us, sleeps with us, hovers over us while we make love, and
broods over us while we die. Our hate does not even have the decency to die when those we hate die—for
it is a parasite sucking our blood, not theirs. There is only one remedy for it.
— Lewis B. Smedes

Relief and appreciation

To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.
— William H. Walton

Unbelievable peace to this day.

For most people there is a big obstacle to forgiveness because society expects revenge. Forgiveness is nothing more and nothing less than an act of self-healing, an act of self-empowerment. I call it a miracle medicine.
It’s free, it works, and it has no side effects.
—Eva Kor, Holocaust survivor

The Catalyst is produced by The Shift Network to feature inspiring stories and provide information to help shift consciousness and take practical action. 
​
The above article excerpt appears in:
2017 Catalyst, Issue 16: The Psychology of True Happiness

​Perhaps you’ve never had to deal with such heavy forgiveness in your life, but there are many times in life when we will have to both forgive and be forgiven.  A sick person who refuse to forgive will be stressed. Stress is bad for healing.

Below are four things to keep in mind when you forgive someone.

1. Realize everyone has to be forgiven.  It will save you a lot of trouble to understand early on that we all will make mistakes and need forgiveness at some point.

2. Forgiveness isn’t earned.  Grace is undeserved favor that no one can earn.  Therefore, forgiveness should be given with no expectations in return and no strings attached.

3. Don’t bring it up again.  Sometimes people forgive like they’re burying the hatchet but keeping the handle uncovered in case they need to use it again.  This only prolongs the conflict.

4. Make the decision and your heart will catch up.  If you wait to “feel ready” to forgive, it’s never going to happen.  Rather, you must make the decision to forgive and soon enough your heart will catch up.

Is there someone you need forgive right now?  Take courage.  

“Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred.  It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.”

True Forgiveness has healing virtues.